Leaving 2020 feels kind of weird, you only really have time to reflect when you stop - and I’d been so busy in the second half of the year, that the severe consequences that we as a country face going into a ‘new year’ now look terrifying. I’ve been in a bubble myself for most of the past year, playing tug-of-war within my own life whilst bringing in a new life into the world at one of the worst years in history is an event in itself. And whilst world events ticked off each month like clockwork, I found myself seeking solice in homelife, as a safeplace from the outside world, and June to December I saw very little of it.
Creatively, I’m not one for re-hashing the old, I’m a huge archiver but I rely on the buzz and need for making to keep me going more than anything. I’ve found many ways to make new work throughout the year, recently I’ve been evolving my stills storytelling by combining words with my imagery, a way of transforming my sketchbook to screen if you like. I’ve enjoyed the process of making it work this year, stripping back shoots to the bare minimum, working by hand, with what you’ve got, there’s no excuse to not-create when you have your basic tools and I’ve loved the challenge.
I’ve maintained a steady plain of creativity, returning to DIY ideals where the going got tough. Socially distanced photo-walks early on, paired with a burst of productivity in small-scale photoshoots with workmates between jobs. I’ve shot music videos, product photography for a brand I admire, a doc mini-series, and AD’d two TV series, including 12 episodes in one fat stint to underline the year. Woah.
Going back to work professionally was a feat in itself mid-way through, I’d signed onto a fairly short film job first off, skeleton crew, masked all day for the first time, and the working environment a very different place to what it once was. Fresh out of maternity leave, absolutely guilt-ridden but incredibly grateful to be working in an industry mostly shutdown. Reflecting on these early shoots, and bearing in mind the uncertainty, it was a very special time, rare in the sense that no-one had a rule book to follow, so everyone was hanging on by a thread. Friendships were absolutely made in these weeks, and creativity only ramped up from there. Between jobs I maintained my working bubble and collaborated on personal projects. My best advice for artists living through these times is to bubble-up wisely; whats a photographer without a sitter?
I can’t thank the guys I was working with enough, we all kept eachother afloat at times, and we just knew we were onto something special. During days off we’d pile our resources together, there was myself behind the lens, Dominic Webb pulling the costume strings in his warehouse of dreams, Dan Franklin bringing his designers eye out for a spin, (playing at model and dresser all in one), and dear Voy Bach evolving in front of our eyes, making our house complete. I took a series of stills, on multiple formats and recorded some analogue video, stored away on par with the next calltime. The photographs burst with stories, colour, and sunlight, we had everything at our fingertips. I remember getting an hour into one day and thinking out loud at how this was my perfect working day, baby at my ankles, and covid at bay, nothing would stop the mood.
The beginning of summer was a real sweet-spot both personally and creatively. I really enjoyed the essence of lockdown 1 (once the panic was over) what a time to be an adult? Shelter-giver to the young ones was my role as key worker, and it was an amazing experience. I think I’ve gone through the most fulfilling time as a parent during this time - and it’ll never happen again. But two lockdowns since, and it’s a very different space. Were living the same lie, walking the balance beam just as we were all those months ago, but the footfall on the street outside our window is a very different one.
I’ve been incredibly lucky to work a job I love throughout the second lockdown right through until Christmas. Without much of a break, no time to stop, I simply kept my head down, aiming for the New Year as a benchmark for change. And when it hits, like most of us, and very little lifts in terms of national spirits, the underlying issue still as prominent as it once was, what are we to do? It makes you feel uneasy, the threat of danger creeping ever so closer to your home, silently speaking. The problem with the British general public is, that we’ve been pre-conditioned that nothing gets in the way of Christmas, not even a pandemic. Something to celebrate, or time to hit the drawing board?
Looking back at my Foto Diary from the year, and there’s portraits I’d developed at home, Sonny at the helm in many, OUTSIDE/INSIDE is one of my favourite photographic achievements of the timeline, the story encapsulates it all; the eyes of a child, there’s nothing stronger. And looking over my shots with The Dynasty Wing, there’s a stillness to some of them, a mood change every now and then, something creeping in. I couldn’t quite put a handle on it at the time, but New Years Eve, locked away again, and I felt the buzz of make and do, as I get every now and then. A need to create. I dug out the video 8 footage and summoned Brandon’s ear for sound - he recorded the audio on a tapedeck and between us we mustered up the below cut in a couple of hours, (complete with hand-written titles!).
“I’m going to release it at midnight.”
And as the countdown began, watching the edit, it all made sense, it seemed to round up what had come and gone. I’m so bored of the government’s short term panic strategy, I’m reeling at the chance that this year will bring real change. Here’s to family and friendships, and time to brew.
So long 2020!
When the party's over. A short edit to mark the end of an extraordinary year.
Shot and Cut by Emmaalouise Smith
Featuring Dan Franklin and Voy Bach
Makeup and Grooming by Dominic Webb
Sound by Brandon Jacobs
Styling provided by The Dynasty Wing